Happy Father's Day, Daddy!

Mommy, Anna, and Eli have hijacked Daddy's blog for the day to say:

Happy Father's Day!

I asked Anna to tell me a few reasons why she loves her Daddy and this is what she said:

He goes to work
He loves Jesus
He goes to the zoo with me
I love jumping with Daddy
Daddy's funny.

I love that even a 3 year old knows what's important - that her Daddy goes to work to provide for us, that he spends time with them going to the zoo, jumping, playing in the water, and that he spends a lot of time laughing with them. But most importantly, how great is it that one of the things she said is that "He loves Jesus!" What better honor could be given to a dad than to know that his children know He loves his Maker.

Happy Father's Day, Mark. We love you.

Mommy, Anna, and Eli

Today I Turn Thirty!

At this very moment, at 9:40 a.m., on October 2nd, I celebrate my 3oth birthday.

It was a Monday Morning back in 1978 when I entered this world. I don't remember that day or the events that unfolded. I am just glad that my parents allowed me to be here.

I don't feel any different today than I did yesterday. But I have grown and changed over those years.

I remember getting licks with a yard stick in Mrs. Halls Kindergarten class. I remember picking up my 2nd grade teacher (I was a strong one). I remember the leprechauns destroying our class that year as well.

I remember 1988 at the age of ten when our school was destroyed by three tornadoes. We spent the next year having school in a church. I also lost a great-grand mother that year.

It was the summer of 1990 that for the first time in 6 years that Lance Gipson and I didn't win the 3 legged race at field day.

It was in 1996 when my grandfather passed away.

I graduated high school in May 1997 and attended Boys State that summer.

I was married at the age of 22 in December 2000 to Phoebe. We moved away from family and started anew.

In 2001, I lost two great-grandparents. One was 96 and the other was 85.

Several years passed as we experienced marriage. At the age of 27, we had our first child Anna. That went well and then at the age of 28 we had another, Eli.

In my thirty years, I've been to Kansas, Virginia, Washington DC; Kansas City (3x), St Louis (5x), Branson (too many x's) and other Missouri cities; Houston (2x), Dallas (2x), San Antonio (2x), Texas; Louisville, KY; New Orleans, LA; Nashville (2x), Memphis (many x's), Gatlinburg, Pigeon Forge, Tennessee; Springfield, Chicago, IL; San Diego, CA; Orlando, FL; and all across AR.

These are a few of my memories over the past 30 years. My memory has changed the most. I'll probably think of a few more things later. I found a few trivial tidbits on the Internet today about the year I was born. I hope you enjoy them.




Cost of Living 1978

Yearly Inflation Rate USA7.62%
Year End Close Dow Jones Industrial Average 805
Interest Rates Year End Federal Reserve 11.75%
Average Cost of new house $54,800.00
Average Income per year $17,000.00
Average Monthly Rent $260.00
Cost of a gallon of Gas 63 cents
1LB of Bacon$1.20
Dozen Eggs 48 Cents

Technology

Illinois Bell Company introduces first ever Cellular Mobile Phone System

Popular Culture 1978

Popular Films

Grease
Saturday Night Fever
Close Encounters of the Third Kind
National Lampoon's Animal House
Jaws 2
Heaven Can Wait
Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope
Revenge of the Pink Panther
The Deer Hunter

Popular Musicians

Bee Gees with " Night Fever and Stayin Alive "
Paul McCartney and Wings
John Travolta and Olivia Newton-John
Rolling Stones
Commodores with " Three Times a Lady "
Boomtown Rats

Popular TV Programmes

Happy Days
Little House on the Prairie
The Rockford Files
Good Morning America
Jim'll Fix It (UK)
Saturday Night Live
Wheel of Fortune
Charlie's Angels
Quincy, M.E.
The Muppet Show
CHiPs
The Love Boat
Three's Company

Warning Your Children

Let me take you to a passage in the Old Testament that will further define this heart-centered instruction. In Deuteronomy, chapter 6, you have a very important formula given here for the raising of children. Deuteronomy 6, is really a chapter instructing parents. Down in verse 7, it talks about teaching them diligently to your sons. This is all about family instruction, a very, very important chapter. It refers to instructing sons again several times later in the chapter. Now, as you bring them up and as you teach them and as you instruct them, what do you teach them?

Let’s start at the beginning, verse 4:

1. The first thing you teach them in this section, "Hear, O Israel: the Lord is our God, the Lord is one!" The first thing you teach them is to recognize the true God and that He is sovereign. To recognize God, the one God, the Lord who is one. That’s the first thing: teach them about God.

2. Secondly, verse 5, teach them to love God. "And you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your might." That’s the second essential in bringing them up.

3. Thirdly, verse 6, teach them to obey God. "And these words which I am commanding you today shall be on your heart and you shall teach them diligently to your sons." Teach them about God. Teach them to love God with all their heart and soul and might and teach them to obey God, all his commands.

4. Then fourthly, teach them to follow your example. Verse 7, "You shall teach them diligently to your sons and talk of them when you sit in your house and when you walk by the way and when you lie down and when you rise up…" In other words, show your children that at all times in your life, all experiences in your life, on the tip of your tongue always, is the Word of the Living God. Let them see that your life is dominated by divine truth.

Let them see all of life as a classroom—every occasion in life, an opportunity to teach…every experience in life, an opportunity to point them to heaven. Everything that happens to them is a path back to Scripture. Jesus was the absolute Master at drawing spiritual reality from the world around him—from water, from fig trees, from mustard seeds, from birds, and bread, and grapes, and pearls, and wheat, and tares, and cups, and platters, and nets, and dinners, and vineyards, and foxes, and men, and women, and light, and dark…everything that happened in life opened up a window on divine reality. I must sensitize my children to see the hand of God and hear the voice of God and the "print" of God in every flower, every rock, every mountain, the sea, the sky, the babbling brook, the whispering trees, the cricket’s chirp, the roaring waterfall, the gentle slap of the surf, the fragrance of a flower, salt air, little babies, fresh hot berries, hot buttered baked bread, a puppy, a squirrel, grandma, and on it goes. Everything in life is a classroom to draw them back to God.

Also, it is essential in bringing them up, verses 8 and 9, that they be reminded repeatedly about these truths. Reminded about the true God, about loving God, and about obeying God, and about following your example. How do you do it? "Bind them as a sign on your hand and they shall be as frontlets on your forehead. Write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates." All of that—simply ways to say keep the reminder going all the time, constantly, constantly, at all times. Have it, as it were, at the front of your mind. Have it right on your hands. Put it on the doorposts of your house and on your gates so that you are incessantly taking them back to the truth of God.

Then, one other lesson: teach them to be wary of the world around them. Verse ten, "Then it shall come about when the Lord your God brings you into the land which He swore to your fathers—Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob—to give you great and splendid cities which you didn’t build and houses full of all good things which you didn’t fill and hewn cisterns which you didn’t dig…" In other words, they’re going to take over a very advanced civilization already in place, "…vineyards and olive trees which you didn’t plant and you shall eat and be satisfied. Then, watch yourself lest you forget the Lord who brought you from the land of Egypt out of the house of slavery." Warn your children that when they get out in the world and they begin to see all that’s there and they begin to touch, and taste, and explore, and sense, and experience, that they not forget God. Teach them about the true God. Teach them to love Him with all their heart, with all their soul, with all their might. Teach them to obey Him. Teach them to follow your example. Show them that life is a classroom no matter what the scene. Constantly remind them of those things which are precious to them and to you and teach them to be wary of the world.

It was said of Eli’s sons in I Samuel, this tragic statement, "His sons brought a curse on themselves and Eli did not rebuke them." If you read the sad, sad story of Eli’s family, you have the key right there. It wasn’t because of something he did to them, it was because of what he didn’t do. He did not warn them.

The Minnesota Crime Commission says this, "Every baby starts life as a little savage. He is completely selfish and self-centered. He wants what he wants when he wants it—his bottle, his mother’s attention, his playmates’ toys, his uncle’s watch. Deny him these wants and he seizes with rage and aggressiveness, which would be murderous, were he not so helpless. He’s dirty. He has no morals, no knowledge, and no developed skill. This means that all children are born delinquent. If permitted to continue in their self-centered world of infancy, given free rein to their impulsive actions to satisfy each one, every child will grow up a criminal, a thief, a killer, and a rapist." Not bad from the Minnesota Crime Commission. What they’re describing is what? Depravity.

Taken from:
A Crash Course in Christian Parenting
by John MacArthur
Copyright 1997

How to Provoke a Child to Wrath

Number one, by over-protection. Fence them in; never trust them; don’t give them the opportunity to develop independence, and deprivation will instill an angry mood. Parents must give children room to express themselves, to discover their world, to try a new adventure, gradually releasing them to live independently. Let the rope out. Over-protection frustrates and angers a child. We live in a world where that’s a tendency among Christians—to keep them under your control all the time. You have to be very careful about that or they become exasperated.

Secondly, you can do it by favoritism. Isaac favored Esau over Jacob—Rebecca favored Jacob over Esau, and the sad results are well-known. Don’t compare them against each other. They’re each unique. Love them the same without special regard for each…no respective persons. If a child feels that you love another in that family more, that is a very, very frustrating experience.

Thirdly, you can cause a child to become angry by setting unrealistic achievement goals. Some parents, literally, crush their children with pressure. Pressure to excel in school, pressure to excel in sports, in music, in any activity they do. And it really has little to do with the child and everything to do with the reputation that the parent wants. This becomes very frustrating when the child has no sense of having reached the goal, no sense of having fulfilled an expectation…it leads to being angry and bitter. I have dealt with such children who have killed themselves. I think of one girl in particular who killed herself to get her parents off her back. She never could accomplish enough to satisfy them, and she was so angry, she wanted to hurt them in the most profound way she could, so she took her life so they would have to live with the pain of causing that…devastating.

[Fourthly], you can frustrate your child to anger by over-indulgence. By giving them everything they want; by picking up after them always; by allowing them to throw all responsibility and accountability on others. You can exasperate them by letting them sin and get away with it so they learn to do that successfully. Ultimately, when they face the world and people don’t serve them and don’t take all the responsibility for them and for their misdeeds, they will get angry and bitter and violent. It’s just exactly the kind of generation we’re seeing raised today.

Fifthly, you can exasperate your child by discouragement and I think that comes in two ways: lack of understanding and lack of reward because both of those destroy motivation and they destroy incentive. You must understand your children. Understand what they’re thinking. Understand what they’re trying to accomplish. Understand why a certain thing happened, why a certain behavior occurred, why a certain incident went a certain way. Grant them a listening ear and an understanding heart and reward them graciously and generously with love. Give them approval and honor and be patient with them or they get very defeated and discouraged and that turns to anger.

You can provoke your children to anger, number six, by failing to sacrifice for them. In other words, by making the child feel like he’s constantly an intrusion into your life, constantly an interruption, always a bother…you want to do what you want to do. You and your husband want to go where you want to go—you just farm these kids out somewhere. Leave them. Let somebody else take care of them. You’re not about to change your lifestyle—you’re going to do what you want to do. You’re going to have your fun and your pleasure and the kids are just going to have to fend for themselves. Leave them; make them prepare their own meals. Don’t take them places because you can’t be bothered with them, and they will resent your being uncaring, unavailable, and self-centered. One of the things that I’m so very thankful for in my own family is Patricia’s devotion to our children: all the years when they were growing up in the home. Many years when I had to be going and traveling and she refused to do that because she wanted to be with those children all the time.

Number seven, you can provoke your children to anger by failing to allow for some growing up. What does that mean? Let them goof up a little. Let them make mistakes. So they knocked something over at the table—laugh it off! They get don’t quite have the manual dexterity yet, or the coordination. Give them a little job and they do it in an unacceptable way, but it’s a little bit of progress, commend them. Let them share some of their ridiculous ideas. Let them plan some silly things to do and do them. Don’t condemn them. Just expect progress, not perfection. The best of men are not perfect.
The New York Tech, many years ago, defeated Rensselaer Poly (Polytechnic), 21-8. In that game, the only Rensselaer touchdown was set up by a sixty-three yard pass-play, says the newspaper. On the play, there appeared to be a breakdown in the Tech defense. The next week, when reviewing the films, Tech coach, Marty Senall (sp.), noticed that the defensive back on the play, freshman John Smith, stood frozen on one spot while the Receiver flew by his for the winning touchdown. "Hey Smitty! Why didn’t you move?" the coach yelled. "I couldn’t. My contact lens had just popped out and I covered it with my foot, waiting for a time to put it back. If I had left the spot, I never would have found it again in that grass. And, my parents would have killed me for losing it!" Now, I’m telling you, when you’re in the "big game" and you live with that much fear of your parents, you’ve got a problem. Let your kids fail. They’re going to lose things. Hey, I remember when Matt flushed my watch down the toilet. I said, "Why did you do that?" He said, "I just wanted to see what it would look like, going down." Did I spank him? No. In fact, I wished I’d have been there. I’d like to see what it looked like when it was going down. Allowed for a little growing…for a few experiments.

Number eight, you can provoke your children to anger by neglect. If there’s any biblical illustration of this, it’s probably David and Absalom. David spent no time with him, no time shaping him, and Absalom ultimately hated his father with a passion. He tried to pull a coup to dethrone his father and take his place. Neglect—and the worse kind of neglect: lack of consistent discipline. That’s the worst kind of neglect. I’m not talking about the neglect of time and things; I’m talking about the neglect of discipline. Teach them, discipline them…consistently using the rod in love.

Number nine, you can provoke your children to anger by abusive words. You understand that a little child has a very limited vocabulary and you have a very comprehensive one. Verbal abuse is a terrible thing. A barrage of well-chosen words from your adult vocabulary can cut that little heart to shreds. What is as devastating as anything are words of anger, words of sarcasm, or words of ridicule. Frankly, we say things to our children, we would never say to anybody else.

And, lastly, by physical abuse. An angry child is often a beaten, abused, overzealously punished child usually from an angry, vengeful parent who only cares that he has been inconvenienced or irritated—not that the child needs correction for his own good.
Well, those are some very simple, practical things. If you want to provoke your child to anger, you can do it by overprotection, favoritism, setting unrealistic achievement goals, over-indulgence, discouragement, failing to sacrifice for them so that they can see your love, failing to allow for them to grow up by neglecting firm, consistent, loving discipline, by abusive words, and physical abuse as well. Don’t do that.


Taken from:
A Crash Course in Christian Parenting
by John MacArthur
Copyright 1997

OK, So Dads Make a Difference. This is News?

I thought I'd share an good post from Al Molher's Blog

The Press-Enterprise of Riverside, California is out with a big news flash -- dads matter in the lives of their children. Sandra Stokley reports on the formation of "DADS," a group dedicated to encouraging men to be more involved in the lives of their children.
The news story is nicely done, featuring the work of Robert Garcia, a father of three who is highly involved with his kids. From the story:
Garcia faces a 90-minute daily commute from Glen Avon to his job as a quality engineer in Costa Mesa. He also drives his three children to school every morning and walks them to class.
He makes it a point to be home at least three nights during the workweek to sit down to dinner with his wife and children. Family dinners on weekends are a given.
He taps into his vacation days so he can chaperone school field trips. He recently took a vacation day so he and his wife could take birthday cupcakes to his son's classroom at Pedley Elementary School.
And even on business trips, he fields calls from his children when they need help on their math and science projects.
For men willing to face the challenges that might block a healthy relationship, the rewards are enormous, Garcia said.
Robert Garcia is clearly a dad who loves his wife and children and is dedicated to being a father --not just a "male parent." His commitment to his own family is admirable and his leadership in forming the DADS group is to be appreciated.
More:
In January, Garcia took over as president of DADS -- Dedicated, Assuring, Devoted Special -- a Jurupa-area group that promotes greater involvement by fathers in their children's lives.
Garcia and DADS members say the premise of the group is simple: fatherly involvement engenders personal fulfillment and pays big dividends for society as well.
"My research shows that if fathers get involved with their kids, they (the children) score higher on tests and stay out of trouble," he said.
Since its incorporation last June, DADS has sponsored three events that organizers hope will act as a springboard to help fathers bond with their children.
"The reality is that fathers are role models for their sons and daughters," said local businessman Tim Adams, who is one of the group's founders. "And you really see a difference in the attitude of kids whose fathers are involved in their lives."
The importance of fathers to the family dynamic has been documented in numerous studies, said W. Bradford Wilcox, a professor of sociology at the University of Virginia and author of "Soft Patriarchs, New Men: How Christianity Shapes Fathers and Husbands."
"There is a real connection between fatherless households and delinquent and criminal activity on the part of adolescent males and young men," Wilcox said in a telephone interview.
Fathers provide a template for their sons on how to handle difficult situations, conflict and frustration and how to interact with women, Wilcox said.
Daughters with involved and affectionate fathers are more apt to postpone sexual activity, Wilcox said.
Children in general benefit from seeing a father and mother treat each other with affection and respect, Wilcox said.
"It's important in different ways for both boys and girls to have a father in the house who is modeling certain types of behavior," Wilcox said.
The research is clear -- fathers play a vital role in the formation of their children. The presence or absence of fathers, and the relative quality of the dads' engagement with their children, makes a huge difference in the lives of both boys and girls. Professor Bradley Wilcox's research is very revealing. Boys need to see dad as a role model for the man they should become. Girls also need dad, and it shows. Just look at the research.
The fact that The Press-Enterprise saw this as a news story worthy of coverage is very revealing in itself. We should appreciate the story. At the same time, it is sobering to reflect on the health of a society in which such a development ranks as news. Here's the scoop -- dads matter. Somebody call a press conference.

What Makes a Happy Family?

Jim Burns, president of YouthBuilders, has given some great material to ponder in his book The 10 Building Blocks for a Happy Family (Ventura: Regal, 2003). I encourage you to take some time to reflect on your own family. I share the principles from page 11:

1. The Power of Being There. Your children regard your very presence as a sign of caring and connectedness.

2. Express Affirmation, Warmth and Encouragement.

3. Build Healthy Morals and Values.

4. Discipline with Consistency. Clearly expressed expectations and consistent follow-through produce responsible kids.

5. Ruthlessly Eliminate Stress. The unbalanced life will not be kind to the areas we neglect.

6. Communication is the Key.

7. Play is Necessary for a Close-Knit Family. There is nothing like play to bring about family togetherness and communication.

8. Love Your Spouse.

9. The Best Things in Life Are Not Things.

10. Energize Your Family’s Spiritual Growth. Your greatest calling in life is to leave a spiritual legacy for your children.

Parenting 101

I wanted to link a couple of sermons about Parenting. The speaker, Aaron Wilson, is a friend of mine and my youth pastor back in the day. He has 4 children and the oldest just turned six. He's definiteley getting the experiece, but he'll be the first to tell you that he doesn't know it all.

Aaron shared the following sermons at a Parent's Conference in Southern Arkansas.

Raising Children to Hope in God MP3 Audio

Evangelizing Your Children Faithfully MP3 Audio

The audio links will take a couple of minutes to download.